Yes. In Japan, both men and women can feel pressure to marry.
But the things people tend to worry about are often different for men and women.
For men, work and income still matter a great deal.
It is not unusual to hear the idea that a man should have a reasonably stable income before getting married, or that he should be able to support a family.
Because of this, some men may want to marry but still feel that they are “not ready yet” because their job or income is not stable enough.
For women, the pressure often comes from a different direction.
In particular, age and childbirth are still closely connected with discussions about marriage.
As a woman gets older, family members or relatives may start asking questions such as, “Are you going to get married?” or “What about children?”
This can happen regardless of whether she actually wants children. Some people still connect a woman’s marriage timing with the question of when she might have children.
So even today, men are more likely to be judged in terms of work and income, while women are more likely to face questions about age and childbirth.
However, these expectations are weaker than they used to be.
Fewer people now believe that marriage must automatically lead to children. Men are also more likely than before to care about a future partner’s income, while women increasingly pay attention to whether a man is willing to share housework and childcare.
Marriage expectations in Japan are changing.
But gender is not the only thing that affects how much pressure a person feels.
There can also be a noticeable difference between large cities and rural areas.
In major cities, it is often easier to remain single without people around you becoming deeply involved in your private life. You can live without necessarily knowing whether your neighbors are married, have children, or what is happening in their families.
That can make it easier to live without constantly thinking about what other people expect from you.
In smaller communities, relationships with relatives and neighbors can be much closer.
People may know who recently got married, who had a baby, or whose children are still single. Because family news travels more easily, someone may also hear questions such as, “Aren’t you getting married yet?” more often.
So two unmarried people of the same age can have very different experiences depending on where they live. In a large city, it may be easier to live without worrying much about other people’s expectations, while in a rural community, you may simply be reminded of marriage more often because the people around you are more connected to one another.
Of course, not every family or community is the same. The idea that marriage is a personal choice has become much more widely accepted.
Still, marriage pressure in Japan has not disappeared completely. What people expect can differ between men and women, and how strongly you feel that pressure can also depend on where you live and how closely connected you are to the people around you.
References
- National Institute of Population and Social Security Research — The 16th Japanese National Fertility Survey
- Cabinet Office, Gender Equality Bureau — White Paper on Gender Equality
