In Japan, hot-pot dishes are often shared from one large pot placed in the middle of the table.
One common question is what you should use to transfer the food from the pot to your own bowl.
If serving chopsticks, tongs, or a ladle are provided, the easiest rule is to use them.
Meat and vegetables can be taken with the shared chopsticks or tongs, while soup or broth can be served with the ladle.
This is especially the most considerate choice at a work dinner, when eating with people you do not know well, or whenever you are unsure what others prefer.
What about using your own chopsticks directly in the pot when eating with family or close friends?
The answer is: it really depends on the person.
Some people do not mind at all if close friends or family members use their own chopsticks to take food from the shared pot.
Others dislike it even among family members, especially if they are more sensitive about hygiene or grew up in a household where shared serving utensils were always used.
So it is better not to assume that “we are close, so using our own chopsticks is fine.”
If shared serving chopsticks or a ladle are available, use them.
If they are not, look at what the other people at the table are doing.
When in doubt, that is usually the most considerate approach.
You also do not have to serve everyone just because you happen to be sitting closest to the pot.
In a small group, people may simply take the food they want for themselves. If someone cannot easily reach the pot, offering to serve them is enough.
With communal hot-pot dishes, the goal is not to memorize every small rule.
What matters more is making sure everyone around the pot feels comfortable eating together.
If shared utensils are available, use them.
And remember that whether using personal chopsticks is acceptable does not depend only on how close the relationship is.
It can vary a lot depending on personal habits, household customs, and attitudes toward hygiene.
Reference
- Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries, “Japanese Dining Etiquette: Serving Chopsticks”
