When bringing condolence money to a funeral in Japan, the envelope usually has words such as 御香典 (gokoden), 御霊前 (goreizen), or 御仏前 (gobutsuzen) written on the upper half. Which expression is appropriate depends on the religion or Buddhist sect, and in Buddhist services it may also change depending on when the memorial service is held.
For many Buddhist funerals, 御霊前 is commonly used. Jodo Shinshu is an important exception: 御仏前 is used from the time of death rather than 御霊前. For the forty-ninth-day memorial service and later Buddhist memorials, 御仏前 is generally used. 御香典 is another expression used for Buddhist condolence money. Shinto funerals use expressions such as 御玉串料 (otamagushiryo), while Christian funerals may use 御花料 (ohanaryo).
This may sound complicated, but most Japanese people do not memorize every rule. When you buy a condolence-money envelope, the package or instructions often explain what kind of funeral or memorial service it is intended for. If you are unsure, checking those instructions first is usually the easiest approach. If the answer is still unclear, you can look up the religion or funeral style online.
On the lower half of the envelope, write the full name of the person giving the money. If you are attending alone, that basic rule is usually enough. There is also a traditional custom of writing with pale ink, known as usuzumi, especially for funerals. Using an ordinary black brush pen, however, is unlikely by itself to become a serious problem.
Sometimes you may not know the deceased person’s Buddhist sect and may choose a slightly incorrect expression. A foreign visitor in particular is unlikely to be expected to know every detail of Japanese funeral etiquette from the beginning. Making a small mistake on the envelope does not erase the fact that you came to mourn the person and show your respect.
There are many small rules surrounding condolence-money envelopes, but it is not an exam. Read the instructions on the envelope, check what you reasonably can, and write it carefully. Showing up with sincere condolences matters more than being so afraid of a minor mistake that you do nothing at all.
